My house used to be spotless when it was just me and my husband. But then his friend came to stay, and fights and tension started. My husband didn’t care about my feelings or the stress I shared. It all finally worked out when I took matters into my own hands.
When my husband offered his friend a place to stay in our home, he did it without asking me. I had no idea that having his longtime buddy there would turn into a nightmare. The situation forced me to take bold steps to fix things.
This is a photo of the bedroom after my husband’s best friend, Vance, had been staying with us for a few weeks. I can’t describe the smell, but trust me, it was foul and unbearable! Vance moved in because his house was being renovated.
To be honest, my husband invited his friend to live with us without talking to me first. I wasn’t thrilled with this setup, asking, “How long will he be here? And why didn’t you check with me before making such a big decision?”
“I’m sorry, love. I got carried away. I let my excitement take over,” he explained. He looked genuinely sorry, so I gave in. But little did I know that would be a huge mistake on my part.
At first, it was supposed to be temporary, but weeks stretched into months. My husband, Torin, thought it would be great to have his best friend around. But he didn’t think about the extra work it would create for me.
“Don’t worry, babe,” Torin said the day Vance arrived, lugging a duffel bag and a box of video games. “It’ll be like old times. We’ll have fun!” He also promised they’d stay out of my way and wouldn’t be a bother.
I forced a smile, but inside, I was already dreading the mess and the thought of living with two men. Torin and Vance had been tight since college, bonded by their love for gaming and sports. I, on the other hand, liked my calm and order.
Within days, the house changed, and not for the better! Empty beer cans littered the living room, snack wrappers were scattered everywhere, and dirty clothes piled up in Vance’s room! Torin and Vance would stay up late.
All they did since our guest arrived was play video games or drink beer together. Their laughter filled the house, while I tried to sleep with a pillow over my head. I was overwhelmed by all the extra cleaning I had to do.
And to make it worse, I was starting to feel more and more alone. One evening, after a long day at work, I found the kitchen in chaos. Crumbs covered the counter, the sink was full of dirty dishes, and a strange sticky spot was on the floor.
I couldn’t take it anymore! “This has to stop!” I said to myself through gritted teeth and clenched fists. I decided to address my issues with Vance alone with my husband. But they were always together, making it hard to catch Torin by himself.
When I finally got a moment when my husband was alone, I decided to confront him. “Torin, can we talk?” I called from the doorway of his home office, where he was focused on work while Vance was deep in another video game in the living room.
“Sure, babe. What’s up?” he said, not looking away from his computer screen. “I can’t keep up with all the cleaning. I need help around here.” Torin paused and turned to me with a dismissive wave.
I didn’t expect the response I got, and it really hurt. Brushing off my concerns, he said, “Oh, don’t be such a buzzkill! You just can’t handle that it’s not all about you. Besides, it’s just one more room to clean. It’s not a big deal.”
His words cut deep! I was about to respond when I noticed he’d gone back to his work! He wasn’t even acknowledging me anymore! I walked away, feeling both angry and hurt. That night, I lay awake, listening to the old friends having a great time!
Right then, I started planning my next move. I decided to show Torin what “not a big deal” really meant. I figured he needed to feel it himself. The next morning, I woke up early and gathered all of Vance’s trash.
Since they stayed up late, they’d sleep in much later than me. I collected the empty cans, dirty clothes, and half-eaten food and dumped them all in Torin’s office. By the time they woke up, the room looked like a disaster zone!
“Hey, what the heck?” my husband yelled from his office as soon as he opened the door. I knew piling the trash there would hit hard since Torin worked from home. He needed that space to function.
I didn’t bother responding or checking on him since I knew why he was shouting. Instead, Vance popped in and laughed, “Whoa, man! Your office is a wreck! You should clean that up if you want to get any work done.”
Off he went to make breakfast and flop back on the couch! Torin didn’t confront me but pushed everything into a corner so he could work. As the days went on, dirty dishes, stray socks, and leftover food stacked up in my husband’s office, driving him crazy.
“I can’t work like THIS!” he shouted for the whole house to hear. I walked in with a sweet smile. “It’s just one room to clean, Torin, so do it. Not a big deal, right?” My husband was furious, but he couldn’t argue with my logic. Vance, meanwhile, looked embarrassed.
“Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he muttered. “Maybe you should pitch in more,” I suggested and left them to handle the mess. For a few days, things got better. Torin and Vance tried to keep the house tidier, but their efforts were weak at best.
The mess crept back, and my frustration grew again. One Friday evening, I couldn’t take it anymore and confronted Torin. We got into a huge argument where he called me a spoilsport. Vance even tried to mediate, but since he was the main cause of our stress, I told him to stay out of it.
My husband tried defending his friend, which made me angrier. I decided I’d had enough! I packed a bag and called my best friend, Myra. “Can I stay at your place for the weekend?” I asked. “Of course, hon. What’s going on?” she replied.
I explained the situation, and she welcomed me warmly. That weekend, I enjoyed the peace and cleanliness of Myra’s apartment. I didn’t have to clean up after anyone, and it was a much-needed break.
On Monday morning, my phone buzzed with a call from Torin. “Please come home,” he pleaded, sounding desperate and ashamed. “The house is a mess, and I can’t find anything I need. Vance is impossible to live with!” This man had the nerve to call after staying silent all weekend.
But I felt a twinge of sympathy, yet I held firm. “I’ll come back when the house is clean, and Vance is gone.” Torin sighed. “Okay, okay. We’ll clean it up right away. Just please come home today, my love?”
“I’ll think about it,” I replied, not wanting to commit and let him think he’d won. To my surprise, within minutes he sent me a video of them cleaning the house. I chose not to reply but after talking it over with Myra, I decided to go back home.
I returned later that day to find the house spotless! Torin and Vance had scrubbed every corner, and my husband’s friend had packed his bags. “Thanks for letting me stay,” he said sheepishly. “I’ll find another place until the renovations are done.”
As Vance left, Torin pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t realize how much work it was. I should have listened to you.” I softened, seeing the real regret in his eyes. “It’s okay. I just need us to be a team, not you and Vance against me.”
From that day on, things got better. Torin made an effort to keep the house clean and helped out more. Our home became a place of calm again, and our relationship grew stronger.
This is a photo of the extra bedroom after my husband’s best friend stayed with us for a few months. I can’t describe the smell, but trust me, it’s wonderful! Now the ordeal of having Vance over is just a memory of a lesson learned.
Torin smiled, wrapping his arm around me. “And one we won’t forget.”
Life went back to normal, but the experience brought us closer. We learned the value of communication and respecting each other’s space. And I knew that no matter what challenges came our way, we could face them together.
