An elderly woman walked into the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with just two drops of water.
The bartender served her drink, and she smiled.
“You know,” she said, “I’m on this cruise celebrating my 80th birthday. In fact, today’s the day.”
“Well, happy birthday!” the bartender said. “This one’s on the house.”
The woman thanked him and enjoyed her drink.
A few minutes later, a woman sitting nearby overheard the conversation.
“Eighty years old? That deserves another drink,” she said. “Bartender, put her next one on my tab.”
“How kind of you,” the birthday girl replied. “I’ll have another Scotch with two drops of water.”
The bartender prepared it and slid it across the counter.
After she finished, a gentleman on her other side spoke up.
“I can’t let these ladies have all the fun. Let me buy you one too.”
The woman laughed. “You’re very sweet. Bartender, another Scotch with two drops of water.”
The bartender poured the drink, then finally shook his head.
“Ma’am, I have to ask. Why do you always order Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman grinned and leaned closer.
“Sonny, at my age, I’ve learned how to hold my liquor.”
She paused.
“It’s the water I can’t hold anymore.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
An old lady went to a bank
An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money…
The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”
The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
The old lady then asked, “Why?” The teller irritably told her, “These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.” She then returned the card to the old lady.
The old lady remained silent. But she returned the card to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down, and said to the old lady, “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?”
The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000”
The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.
The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.
The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.
The moral of this tale…
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.
